Day 120

It's Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday!!!

Derek's really looking forward to going to Monroe for the weekend, weekend!

Friday! Friday! Get to drive my dads car there on Friday! Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun out of town Christmas weekend!

iPod in the front seat, J . Crew shirt hanging in the back seat, blueberries and pretzel bites accompanying me.

It's Friday, Friday! Had to work this Friday! But it was a night shift and it went by fast, so now here comes the weekend!

Melissa took me to the Muppets, we got lots of popcorn! Real butter is the devil! Then I bought us Jimmy Jonh's! Friday! Friday! This blog post is LAAAMMMEE!!! But I don't care cause it's my blog and its the weekend!

- Friday -

Day 119

This is what freedom looks like. Waking up without an alarm, without work, and without school on your mind. This is Christmas break from GVSU, and I thoroughly enjoy this feeling.

I stayed hibernated in my room this morning for a good two hours. I scanned eBay, skyped with Pat, but my favorite highlight was actually getting to play the PS3. If you've been following this, the previous months were littered with time spent on the Sony sucker. Lately, with work and school, I haven't had time to so much as see a movie or turn on Netflix, let alone play a game. I spent the entire day relaxing, having a mini "electronic holiday". I played around on my tablet, updated some iMac software, just did an array of things.

Sucked up so much time that 4:00 came and it was almost time to head to work. I ran and grabbed dinner for me and my brother and we watched the 1960's Batman movie... yes, the really cheesy one where Batman has blue underwear and horns the size of a small kitten, and the Riddler has a huge bulge where his..ahem.... question mark dangles. Yes, this cheesy classic is just what I needed before going off to work. Well, that and Judge Judy. Holy tacky television Batman!

Work was a breeze, trained Anna, the newer girl, and then after work, I was fortunate to catch up with a great friend. Enter Melissa Suchowolec. (I feel I'm friends with a few Melissa's, so last names help distinguish). I've known Melissa for awhile, I think 5-6 years. We went to the same high school, and through the weaving of life, I ended up dating one of her friends, and we would see each other from time to time. Tonight, we got to catch up at B-Dubs. She normally is at Western so hang out time is limited to usually the number of fingers on my right hand in a year. We caught up, but mainly, it was refreshing to just talk to someone who, in my opinion, gets it, get's life, & has a clear head. She's someone who I can talk to without having the politics, drama, emotions, or biases I so often get in life from others. Her and I are nowhere near perfect, but we know where we have to go. We talked about regrets, and how I have none, and the only way to truly have regrets, is to not take risks. People will regret the stuff they haven't done, not the stuff they've done. She's a great girl, I'm glad to be able to have her to talk to when I can, and call her a friend. I feel blessed knowing there's someone else out there who is going through what I am still going through, and we keep our heads up, always moving forward, not looking back, living ahead, until the day you die.

Thanks Melissa. I promise I'm not earning brownie points, this is normal routine for a introduction to the blog.

- Melissa and I -

Day 118

This morning was victorious. I woke up, had some jasmine tea, and sat in the kitchen with breakfast next to my mom and finished my shopping (except for my sister). It took a good hour, but I searched the far ends of the internet and other sites until I could find what I was looking for.

Mike came over around lunch and we had Jimmy John's to eat. I stuck with my usual choice and ordered the number 12. After lunch, I pounded out my final boss of a project before leaving for GVSU to turn it in. The whole way I couldn't beat traffic. Cars going slow, trucks, trains, slow people in line at the gas station holding me up so I couldn't buy my energy drink.... augh! I sprinted into the classroom only to find the teacher smiling at me. "Derek, this is due anytime between 4-6." Great... all that speeding, all that chaos, all the wasted money I just put in the meter... for nothing!!! It's like God was saying "Just trust me, stop being so angry... you'll be fine".

Stopped at Plato's Closet on the way back and talked with my old work friends, and saw Gavin as well again. The constant run ins with him make me smile. After Plato's I went into work, where I was just able to make the work meeting, and then run my shift from 6-10PM. And yes, even after leaving at 10, the weather is still almost 50, very nice, my fall jacket does me just fine.

After work Mike and I met up with Chad and Sam and a slew of other people downtown at Friday's for Lindsey's going away party. We had some long islands at Friday's, then moved over to Hopcat, where me and Mike split crack fries. We didn't say too long, mainly because I didn't know hardly anyone there, and I was tired., but not tired for a blog picture!

- Some friends at HopCat -

Day 116

A grand morning indeed this morning, because I got to eat a warm, good country breakfast in the cozy confines of Cracker Barrel with my friend Chad. We each ordered pancakes, sausage, and eggs, and enjoyed the time there as well as the general-store feel. A good way to start the morning... I need to have more royale breakfasts like so.

After that I finally managed to ship a book from half.com I sold almost two weeks ago. I've had hell hit me with trying to ship this book, but alas, I shipped it. Victory! From there I went home and attempted more Christmas shopping, but still got no where.

2-6 I worked, helped some girls rock climb, talked to others, and booked our company Christmas party. After work I showered at the gym and then changed, and picked up my friend Melissa, and we went to the Storytelling Pictures Christmas Party. Got to re-connected with some great people. Ran into Jordan Carson, who co-hosted MYGR Weekend with me, as well as the WOODTV station manager, Meijer friends, and others. Also got to re-connect with a fellow film-maker Zac Page, who went to the same school as me years and years ago. We talked a good portion of the night about films and what we'd like to do in the future. They also held door prizes, and Melissa's name was drawn. She won a nice goodie bucket, and just won barely, because 15 seconds after she put in her name, they drew names.Also, I noted the sushi was darn good.

After the party, I spent some time talking with Jon, my dad's business partner. Jon has been like a 2nd father to me. He gave me some insight, and I'm hopefully getting breakfast or lunch with him come next week. He's a great guy, very thankful and blessed I have the opportunity to know him.

Left the event with Melissa, and then dropped her off at her house, although not before discussing my own life and what would happen to everything in it, even her and I. I just don't know. I left her house feeling guilty, and probably even leading her on. She encouraged me to fully disclose how I feel, so I am. I left her house, angry at myself. This is a girl I broke up with, and I'm conveniently keeping on a shelf for when I want to hang out with her. I cast my head.

I dreamt this dream in the earlier realm of this morning, as in the 14th, not the 13th, but I feel it's still part of my day. I've been using sleep as the chapter-skip point, but if I were to stay up all night, what would that be? Anyway, here is the dream I dreamt.
"I am batman. I've been fighting people occasionally, but Im finnally done. I am watching a bunch h of people get hurt in fake walls, and i try to warn robin, who is my good friend, not to get hurt. im watching from above as people walk through this big maze and the walls keeep falling them, watching them crush instantly. For some reason, I try to stop them, but they keep getting crushed. I turn around and Robin is having sex with Catwoman, or not having sex, but becoming very intamate. I keep telling him to stop, but he wont listen to me. they sit there in each others arms. then she leaves. he follows her. i tell him to be careful. i am hurt i have lost my good friend and partner to a girl, so i fly away. its the first time ive fown, though its not the regular flyingg. i flew , or glided with my bat cape until i landed on a garage. but something happened. maybe it was a light storm in the distance, mayge it was lightning, i dont know, but i lost my powers. i couldnt fly. i crashed through a roof and fell asleep. when i woke up, the next morning, some outcast old people who were sick of being taxed were outside arguing. one of them saw me. the pulld me out, maybe to kill me, but they still had some good in them and didnt. i tried to fly away, abut i fell. thishas happened to me before. ive dreamt this portion of the dream before. i lose myself. i dont know who i am. its like ive lost my identity, and i need to figure out who i am, so i cant use any of my powers. the people are nice and tell me i can stay with them... but time is short. i run away into a special morgue. i get inside, george clooney falls on top of me. ironic, because he was batman once in a movie. hes laying on top of me, and its awkward.... im like... so.,... whats my favorite geroge clooney movie... well i really liked fantastic mr. fox.... it was good. now the creepy part. im inside the morgue. its a giant catholic church morgue. old cobblestone and marble walls, but its hot. very hot. it reminds me of hell in a way, because people go here to die or be disposed of. i say disposed of, because hjeres what happens. this is the normal routine for how peol=ple die, and someine i knew died. it was this very obese man at my work that died, and the body is brought to this big cathedral like morgue. the builiding is a reddish tint inside, with smoke and lava running aunderneath. there are two big generatios and turbines that grind up the lava, but this is all underground. this obese man whos name i wont say has died, and his body part is in pieces. 
by the way, this whole timeim in here, that creepy song from star wars is playing,

the one where anakin becomes darht vader... its a chior song on the soundtrack, its a very ominious and gloomy song. they lso play this song in the star wars movie when qui gon is burning in his funeral in the phantom menace. anyway, this music is echoing throughout the halls. this obese man has been chopped up. he is dead. he was so fat, that in my dream, undreds of bags are there, carrying his fat and other muscles. the morgue instructer has a glowing red crown and septor sitting on a table that overlooks this conveyere belt underneath us. he tells me to go turn on the turbines to full speed. fi go over to the wall and do it, but a fuse blows, and i roast the whole place. i mean, it explodes. giant fire balls. i dont have my superpowers yet, so i can glide out or use my batarang. i sprint out for my life, and grab my friend melissa, who is helping throw these bags of fat over hte ledge. i grab her and we just make it out, as a giant fireball roars behind us. i wait, then we go back in, luckiliy, no one died. a fireball just escaped, but everyone keeps working. then the depressing scene happens. guys around me who are cutting up the body start making fun of the man, saying htings like fat f%%%. im glad hes dead... and ive been cutting him up all day, i love it... i enjoyed cutting him up. even though he was dead for all this, it was so animalistic. also, all of the meat form his body was charred form the fireball, so it smelled and looked tasty, but still disgusting, and id never eat it. now the main bishop stands up, my grandma and grandpa are here... and everyone starts chucking bags on this big metal wieght that starts to sink under water, which then will suck everything to the conveyor belt, which will ultimately burn it. the man that died was so fat, the barge is sinking underwater, and there are workerse in the water trying to help. i throw a bag in, riled with fat. i can see of his lungs in this bag, and i hurl it in. it splashes one of the workers, but he remains stone cold. the last image i see on this brarge, the size of a car btw, is an old couple in the water. they want to die today. they came here to die together. i was saddened by this, and almost started crying. they dont need to die yet, they may be old, but they still have each other. but its too late, the music, that sad sad music is still playing. the converor belt starst sup. the old couple says i love you to each other, and then grabs each other and gets sucked under the water, as more bags of the dead persons body parts are thrown on top of them. the rest of us in there wh as the bags and the old people are no sunken, and have been sucked onto the conveyor belt, where body parts and them will be crushed and burned in the turbines. i had to leave, i couldn watch these two people die, . if they hadnt drowned yet from being underwater for a minute, they were about to be burned alive. i remember seeing hands and feet of the obese man land on the conveyeor belt, as others watched arouund me, the bishop still in the middle of the room. he reminded me of an occultic leader, because, he just looked evil. i couldnt be in the room anymore.... i ran out, still trying to fly, but i couldnt, becasue i dont know who i am. i collapse on the ground oustide, in the frest airl... some people walking around are just looking at me, but i cant take it. i curlb up on the ground nad pray that i can become myself again..."

Day 115

Exam week!!

Took my Communications 101 exam this morning at ten. I was the first to finish and made it home by 11:15. This only left me with 45 minutes to Christmas shop online before I had to meet Mike at Costco for lunch. From lunch, I went to work.

Today at work was great, had many laughs, however, was saddened by a surprise death of one of our members. She was young, and I was one of the people that helped them get signed up. I was shocked to hear it, and for the rest of the day, a certain small omen hovered over me, casting this realization that we aren't promised tomorrow (as Betsy said). It made me think anyone can die at anytime. Each day is a gift. So, so, so, so many people neglect that.

After work I had to return to GVSU again for my Spanish exam. I was the 2nd one finished, and felt very good about the completion of the course. Returned home for more Christmas shopping. I must have sat in front of my mac for three hours, but still very little luck. One more gift ordered..... I feel so defeated..... not just from shopping, but in general.
I give up....
I surrender.

- The White Flag of Surrender -

Day 114

This morning was sunny, but still cold, and I went to church by myself.

I sat with Melissa because Chad blew a tire and Sam was working. We enjoyed the service, however, I experienced some irony in the first ten minutes. Much of which was on my mind the night before was right in front of me, literally, both in the flesh and in my phone. The best way I can sum this up is the past literally came back to haunt me, right there, in my pew. A former president of a college and an ex girlfriend... God must love irony. Sometimes I feel like (all in good fun mind you) God looks at his angels and says "Hey guys, come over here... watch this... " and throws me these ironic curve balls that He knows makes me scurry about and start wondering things and looking for signs. I'm like an ant who is doing his daily grind, and suddenly a rock falls into my area. I scatter.

Anyway, after church, Chad met Melissa and I at Akita Buffet, which is still lacking to Ming Ten. The food was good but the service was terrible. Blind people could provide a better waitstaff. We got zero refills. We had to shout and flag down the non-English speaking staff. We saw Gavin there, and chatted with him as well.

After that, Melissa came back to my house and we watched some Curb, hung out, and then left after some Costco pizza for Festival of Lights back at church. The show was decent, not bad. Makes me miss musical theatre. The music is my personal favorite... live instruments and singing always inspire me, make me think, and relax me. After the show we talked with Chad again and then I sped home so I could watch Dexter, but not before stopping off at Meijer. Ran into John and Marcia Evans, and talked with them for a bit. Picked up more junk food then returned home and watched Dexter. Augh!!! So good, so good. This season is probably my 2nd favorite.... I'm still tied between the 2nd and 5th season, though I always lean more towards the 2nd as the best.

This was taken in Meijer. Another shopper was shopping for Cheez-Its! and simply gave up. The conquest through Meijer and the cheesy snacks failed. Mission abandoned. I hope the shopper is okay, where ever they are.... maybe dangerous temple guards or crocodiles got to them before they could escape Meijer with the Cheez-Its. Maybe next time..

- Futile Mission -

Day 113

Because of my busy week and finalization of school for the semester, I've been behind on this, I know.... but the biggest downfall now is that I forgot to update my blog, which means I forgot what I did today.

I know I worked from 2-8, and spent a good hour and a half taking apart a huge leg press machine, and then painting the wall behind it.

After work, my usual gang went to Peppino's, where I ordred cherry coke and a darn good salad.

See, this post is so short...... Augh! Need to stay on this!

- Cold Friends -