Day 123

Perhaps its the current mood I'm in, but this post is different. It feels different.

This morning I woke up and was just able to relax. I was able to play Call of Duty after a good month lull. I was able to watch my brother play his games. I was able to eat soup and eBay. I was able to,.... I was able. That's just it. I was able. I had the ability, and I did. I was given a gift, I was given freedom to rest and enjoy myself. This is something I have forgotten how to do.

I worked tonight, though I stopped at Meijer to surprise my grandma and my Aunt Gail who is in from Texas. I got to see them for a little bit, and then grabbed a salad and sub and went to work.  At work, Caleb came in to visit me tonight.... I showed him around, chatted, and then I had to finish my work at hand. After work I went home.... I wanted to be by myself, but Caleb asked if he could stop over.

For an unknown reason, I gave up on Netflix and invited him over. So thankful I did. Tonight I was able to finally open up about myself, and it was only the beginning. He told me not to write everything on this blog, and I agree. This blog isn't for the gritty details about what truly scares me, saddens me, and what I secretly think. It's not the wikipedia of Derek Niemchick. It's not the scoop or gossip on me, it's just a recollection of the day's memorable events and happenings I encounter. Thats what this is for. It's for me. Caleb pointed this out, and he gave me some gifts, one being a very cool hardbound journal, that I can truly write in, and express myself, without censoring or playing to the reader. This journal is the key to my redemption. I plan on writing everything down in it, and then maybe the week after, praying over it or sharing it with whoever I feel led to.

I can say this though, that now, I am on the road to freedom. 2012 couldn't have come soon enough. I feel like I've only let the tip of the iceberg out. I trust Caleb a lot, and consider him a great friend. Thanks for the gifts. To my readers, and to myself, when I read this again, today is the day I  began to trust. 2012 I will let go. Above all of this, I'm thankful God hasn't given up on me yet. I've failed him to the dust this year, but not anymore.

- Rise -