I started my morning off by going to the Apple Store to have them look at my recently purchased iMac that was broken. It was only $20, so even if I can't fix it, the money I'll make for selling parts will refund me and some. I left the mall and met Mike for lunch. McDonalds again. I'm sorry body.
I went home where it hit me. I feel trapped, almost rotting, like an expired food item in a fridge that no ones eating. If it's not selfish or bias, I'm good. I feel I don't deserve this. It's the healthy jug of juice in the fridge that sits there until it rots and expires, never being used, while the trashy, non-productive other foods are consumed instantly. Unable to be in my house, I left an hour early for my Holland class and drove to Holland. Mcdonalds for dinner. At this point I just don't care. I'll start the detox after Halloween. I spent time working on an escape plan. I say this not out of disgust, I love my family, but I need out. My life, my schedule, it's the same circle. No end. If you can't beat the system, get a new one. I applied to five agencies in Chicago for modeling and talent.
As usual, my creativity class is something to look forward to. It helps me tap into areas of my brain that have otherwise gone numb or clouded. I'm excited to see where the class continues to take me in the months to come. We watched a video right when we got out of Steve Jobs giving a college commencement speech, and a speech it was. I was near tears. It's like Steve Jobs, whether Christian or not, knew who I was, like he was talking to me. He's been called Moses in a turtle neck; a name that fits him well. A leader of imprisoned and neglected people. I feel almost obligated to support Apple products the rest of my life.
Ended the night at the Curragh in Holland. I love Holland, the downtown district twinkles an elegance that draws me in and doesn't want me to leave everytime I visit. It reminds me partially of downtown L.A., the street parking, the mom and pop stores, the art, the vibe in general. Grand Rapids, what is happening to you. I met up with my friend Matt there. I've known Matt for about six months. We met after he watched an episode of MYGR Weekend, and I'm glad he did. I have a lot of respect for him, something that I lose more and more of for people around me. Matt reminds me of myself sometimes.... the guy trying to do good, while life kicks us down. We may ot have kicked life back tonight, but the beers and food and the Tiger's game were good enough. One day we'll get our chance. Thanks Matt, appreciate the friendship.
- Matt & I, Holland MI -
