Day 99

I told myself I'd spend a day devoted to figuring out my life. Looking at schools, different cities, and jobs. Well that failed..... at least today.

I did enjoy the sleep I obtained. Had a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats, and grape juice for breakfast. I also took time to read my Bible this morning, something I've been needing to do. I then spent the early Saturday with Batman, eBay browsing, and cleaning and fixing up my car. Shortly after lunch, Jordan came over and brought me a latte. We talked with my parents and she helped my clean out stuff to sell. I'm embarrassed at all the Simpsons loot I've acquired over the years. I spent a good $200.00 my senior year of high school on memorabilia from the series, and it's been sitting in a box ever since. Oh what we pay for.... stuff. Collecting is a dangerous sport.

Jordan and I ran to grab some food and then she departed, which then followed Melissa coming over. We're friends... darn good ones. I don't know sometimes to feel guilty or innocent for acting so normal considering the mind/emotional funk that preceded our relationship. Nonetheless, we watched the film "One Day", and she brought me my favorite tea. After the film, Caleb came over and the three of us went to Bagger Dave's, a new restaurant in the Ada / GR area where my friend Mike is a waiter. The food was great, and the price ran circles around other restaurants.

After dinner we drove home, and then played never have I ever. I didn't lose, but I didn't win. You can figure out how I placed. Never have I ever.... interesting game. It's a game that, unknowingly, showcases exactly just how bad or adventurous one is. It ties in great to my point on the previous blog.... morals. People give them up, lose them. I feel so sequestered and disconnected, feeling like I'm the only one who will do this and not do this. In the past it always results in the same. Losing friends, losing status, and oddly gaining friends, and gaining status. I find that the things lost are truly not needed, and the things gained are duly needed. I've watched friends, loved ones, and even family members fall away..... and sadly, I'm not a lifeguard. I can't save them. I think alot about the Bert Royal's stage play, "Dog sees God", which is the Peanuts gang grown up into teenagers. The play is brutal. Charlie Brown and his friends have all succumbed to the worldly pleasures of dregs, suicide, depression, sex, and a decaying lifestyle, all while in high school. As time presses on, we either grow stronger and cleaner, or decay and die.

- Car ride home from Bagger Dave's -