Day 103

The last day of the month, and man a fast month and day it was.

Started out by getting up, taking a vitamin, checking the weather, and going to work. I was at work for just under five hours, which was plenty of time to get caught up on the busy day before, take care of some more papers, make some calls, etc. Busy days mean fast days.

The afternoon came for classes, but I just wasn't feeling it. True, I had a 25 point homework assignment due, and a debate class to attend, but I simply wasn't feeling like school. My grades were high, and the day was young, so I decided to make a call and go and purchase an iMac desktop... finally! I drove out to Zeeland and picked up my new treasure. All I can say is craigslist is wonderful.

The remaining night was spent, as you guessed, updating the iMac, transferring files from my laptop, putting new software on it, and doing what Apple let's you do best... play with your technology. I also put several more items on eBay, one of which sold instantly thanks to the buy it now option. I was in a weird if not borderline depression funk, just because I'm selling many things that have such a sentimental value to me. I know I won't use them again, but it's memories.... I'm selling memories.... items I've collected or spent time with, only to now auction them off to strangers....

It's a sad feeling.... letting go of the things you have fond memories with. Farewell November. Farewell my possessions. Farewell

- A very beautiful image of "Letting go" -

Day 102

Alas! The cold is gone. No tissues ruined, no coughing up crud, no soar body. I'm cured. This has been the weakest yet longest cold I've had.

It was still so cold outside, I did not want to leave the confines of my warm bed. Com 101's attendance policy says otherwise, so out the door I went to a short, hour long class. Then back home, where I disrobed myself, got back in bed, and played Batman. Nerdom wins again!

From 2-6 I worked today, and it was the busiest shift yet....from 5-6:30 I was on my feet, flinging papers, pens, food, and dealing with a line of clients that almost went out the door. The playroom was also packed to the brim, with seven to eight kids in there, so much that my boss had to go back there and also help control the crowd. I managed this frustration, but the people just kept coming. It was a constant battle to simply "keep my cool".

After work, my good friend Mike came in and picked me up for a movie. He brought me my Christmas present, which is, another Batman game. Oh boy. My contributions to society will soon hit an all time low. Now I have to Batman games to devour my time. We went to see "The Rum Diary" but thirty minutes into the movie, I was falling asleep, and Mike was bored. The film wasn't necesarrily bad, but my sleep habits have been terrible lately. I'm constantly tired when it gets dark; though I'm not at the Heath Ledger stage.... yet. We then went to Bran's and met up with Mike's work friend and had some drinks, well, I had one. I ordered a honey Jack Daniels Pepsi. Wow. Three liquids I love.

Went home and here I sit, ready to play the new Batman game Mike bought me. Thanks Mike. : D
You've made me a fan.

Ahh, and skype with Ty!

- The Batman -

Day 101

This Monday marks my last full week of classes at GVSU. I smile widely.

Went into work at 10:00, and served my four hour shift loyally, before returning home to change and then leave early for school. To my dismay, when I got home, I realized I had until 9:00 to do the video, so I hit the cyber Monday markets of some retail sites, as well as eBay. Gosh I'm such a nerd. :/

GVSU time came, and for my debate class, we had the Kent County defense attorney come in and speak. It was a very engaging and interesting conversation. Here is a lady who is paid to defend criminals, or as she put it, "her job is to simply ensure we protect the Constitutional right that everyone deserves a fair trial". I asked her if she thinks the justice system is too nice, since I've discovered in my own findings that everyone that gets arrested has a multiple list of priors. She said she works with a lot of dumb people, and dumb people pay the bills. She also mentioned she had a client who had 127 priors on his record.... to that, I thought my own negative thoughts on our courts system. I mean, after the 50th offense, you think that'd be a sign to lock him up for life, but..... we are in America. Corruption is not just found on Wall Street....

Spanish class is winding down, and after it, I shot my video and then hit the dark night road. I headed over to Melissa's house for a small birthday gathering. Kaleigh, Alex, Cody and Kelsey, and Victoria were all there, as well as Melissa's family. It was good to see many old faces I have not seen in awhile. The pie was amazing, as well as the ice cream. The ladder of the evening was spent with Melissa and Kaleigh, watching YouTube videos.....

- 2 Beautiful Best Friends -

Day 100

100 Days!!! I'm almost a third of the way there! Thanks again Ty.

The cold virus update.... 93% gone... just coughing here and there.

Current gas price $ 3.09 gallon

This morning was nothing special, considering I worked from 10-5. The day as usual went by very fast, so I must be doing something right. After work I went home where a great meal awaited me, compliments of my mother. Ate with the whole family, and then devoted some serious time into decorating and putting up the Christmas tree (or holiday trees as the government has deemed them), and put up other Christmas ornaments. Dad also started cleaning out the storage room, and wow, it looks different, and of course, better.

Later on, in the cozy confines of my living room, Caleb came over and we watched Dexter. Another great episode, with more twists and shocks, and I'm reminded why I love this show. After the show, Caleb departed, and I skyped with Melissa for a brief period, before heading to bed.

On an opposite note, a moment of reflection: 100 days. It's been a journey so far. This is for you, my readers. Some of you I know, some of you I know not. Blogger has an A-Check in the technology used for tracking views, traffic, hits, and referrals. Heck, I've gotten multiple hits from Russia and Germany. I don't know what country you (the reader) are from, but thank you for reading. To the Russians and Germans reading this... you may never meet me. Chances are you will probably forget about this blog in only two years. I hope you are well. Our governments are not so different. In America, we are facing a corrupt government that is simply printing money out of air, destroying the value of the dollar and of gold. We are trying to be formed into a more and more socialist economy, despite what critics say, its true. Republican, Democrat, and Unitarian, they all agree.... we now have too much government. Our president is trying to solidify a unanimous health care plan, (and if you Russians and Germans aren't aware, every other government run program is near bankruptcy, including our postal/mail service, social security service, and other smaller divisions) bailing out corrupt businesses, and punishing us, the people of the U.S.A. The other truth is, that even if a new president is elected, they can only prolong what is to come. A Republican is NOT our messiah. In this lifetime, I fear America will undergo it's 2nd depression. We will crash. I know in history, your citizens (Russia and Germany) have faced many difficult times like this. I hope you prevail, and continue to love those who need love. Ultimately, your life is what you make it, despite the cards you are dealt in life. Someday I hope to visit your countries, and stay active in adding new pages to the story of my life.

Dearest Russia and Germany, and whoever else is reading this..... we are still alive. All I can leave with is one truth. Follow the Light.

- I'm going to get s*** for this, but hey, I get s*** everyday for just being....me -

Day 99

I told myself I'd spend a day devoted to figuring out my life. Looking at schools, different cities, and jobs. Well that failed..... at least today.

I did enjoy the sleep I obtained. Had a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats, and grape juice for breakfast. I also took time to read my Bible this morning, something I've been needing to do. I then spent the early Saturday with Batman, eBay browsing, and cleaning and fixing up my car. Shortly after lunch, Jordan came over and brought me a latte. We talked with my parents and she helped my clean out stuff to sell. I'm embarrassed at all the Simpsons loot I've acquired over the years. I spent a good $200.00 my senior year of high school on memorabilia from the series, and it's been sitting in a box ever since. Oh what we pay for.... stuff. Collecting is a dangerous sport.

Jordan and I ran to grab some food and then she departed, which then followed Melissa coming over. We're friends... darn good ones. I don't know sometimes to feel guilty or innocent for acting so normal considering the mind/emotional funk that preceded our relationship. Nonetheless, we watched the film "One Day", and she brought me my favorite tea. After the film, Caleb came over and the three of us went to Bagger Dave's, a new restaurant in the Ada / GR area where my friend Mike is a waiter. The food was great, and the price ran circles around other restaurants.

After dinner we drove home, and then played never have I ever. I didn't lose, but I didn't win. You can figure out how I placed. Never have I ever.... interesting game. It's a game that, unknowingly, showcases exactly just how bad or adventurous one is. It ties in great to my point on the previous blog.... morals. People give them up, lose them. I feel so sequestered and disconnected, feeling like I'm the only one who will do this and not do this. In the past it always results in the same. Losing friends, losing status, and oddly gaining friends, and gaining status. I find that the things lost are truly not needed, and the things gained are duly needed. I've watched friends, loved ones, and even family members fall away..... and sadly, I'm not a lifeguard. I can't save them. I think alot about the Bert Royal's stage play, "Dog sees God", which is the Peanuts gang grown up into teenagers. The play is brutal. Charlie Brown and his friends have all succumbed to the worldly pleasures of dregs, suicide, depression, sex, and a decaying lifestyle, all while in high school. As time presses on, we either grow stronger and cleaner, or decay and die.

- Car ride home from Bagger Dave's -

Day 98

Black Friday. The mega retail rampage. And for the first time in a long time,the day I slept in.

I awoke first, just in time to say goodbye to my uncle, who was heading to work. From there I goofed around on my tablet, watched some youtube videos, played spider solitaire, and waited for Cameron to wake up. From there, we went to Franklin Park Mall, a giant mall in Toledo, OH that was still an active hive for hungry shoppers. We went into several stores, but I just wasn't finding anything that was me. Don't get me wrong, the deals were great.... heck, I tried on a $50 jacket for $15 and a $15 sweater at H&M, but it wasn't me. I don't know if I've grown out of it, if I have a new style, I don't know exactly.... but I couldn't do it. Last year, I'd be wearing it right now as I type, but different stores had my sights. Banana Republic, J Crew, and Gap were some. I ended up leaving the mall with nothing....

Cameron and I met up with my aunt, my mother, and grandma, and the five us ate lunch at Applebees, which is still what you would expect at Applebees. After lunch, Cameron and I got in my car and set off for home. The first part of the trip flew by, and then around 5 ish, we landed at Tanger Outlets, where I could get a 2nd chance to hit the stores I was unusually attracted to (except J Crew, I love that store). I found my blue oxford. Our friends at Gap can get the credit for that. Fit's great, looks great, and feels great. Cheaper than J Crew, so I bought it. Left Tanger with a very big smile as well as a very big vitamin water. An hour and a half later, we arrived back into the hometown. As I was bringing Cameron home, another deer, who clearly must have seen my 2nd comic I posted on here, struck back again. As I was literally saying to my cousin "well, there are no deer out here...." the mother of Bambi lept in front of me as I screamed a not so nice word and hit a not so nice animal. At this point I was mad. Is God trying to kill me? Do deer have it in for me? Are hunters failing? New hunting rule. If it has 4 legs, shoot it. My car can't take it anymore.

Dropped Cameron off, then went to Chad's where I got to see my friends plus Jordan, who was back from Texas. We spent a good portion of the night there, watching Star Wars on T.V. and playing battle of the sexes. After Chad's I went back to Jordan's where her and I got to catch up, and just talk about life.... until 3:00AM. Jordan's a great friend..... I have high respect for her. Yet, I feel disconnected....again... another person. The talk made me realize a lot about myself. This world has so much evil..... and it's.... well.... actually.. I'll save this for the next blog. It won't make sense until I act upon what I have learned. Part II will be on Saturday's.

- The anti-racism shirt I did NOT buy -

Day 97

Thanksgiving. The holiday that for some reason will never vary the food choice. Turkey, cranberry, stuffing, potatoes, and beans.... Why not orange chicken? Pastas? Artichokes? And a berry bowl?

I woke up at my grandma's and for the most part hung around her house for a few hours. I was playing with the new tablet for awhile (Acer..... it's no iPad, but it's Google's tab... like a giant android phone). Ruby, Shelby's defiant and stubborn dog ran away and me and my cousins walked up and down streets trying to find the bitch. My uncle and Cameron found her, way down at the end of the street.

Cameron, Kelsey and I then ran to downtown Monroe to a CVS pharamcy to grab some drinks and medicines (odd combo). Then we dressed up, and I packed up, and we went to Toledo to my Uncle Mike's house for a very large Thanksgiving meal. Beer, Turkey, Cranberry Sauces, Stuffing, Red wine, (why are all these in caps?), guacamole, smoked salmon, trail mix, pretzels, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, cheesy potatoes, and other dishes were served. (There Lauren... there's my meal run down).
One thing great about Toledo is the fuel. Gas is under $3.00 here! Yes, I filled up my car to the brim. Later on in the evening, I followed my cousin Jason over to his house he bought, with Cameron riding with me. Jay's a cook. He's gone to culinary school for two years now, and is loving it. He's trying to get on a cruise line and serve food. He cooks at some restaurant in Novi, I forgot the name, but it's a non-national chain. His house was beautiful, it reminded me of a Heritage Hill house in G.R. Hardwood cherry floors, upstairs, and heck, he even built his own recording studio in the top floor, complete with soundproofing the entire room with carpet. Made me want to move out.... in fact, it made me want everything I questioned the night before. I mean, how fun would it be to buy an old house, fix it up, paint it with your wife, take a break from painting and make love on the paint sheets. That sounds swell.

But of course, I am not married, I am not a home owner, but I am a determined gent. The entire ride back I thought about the image of love. Even to the point of not fooling around with other women. To be honest, this is what I'm thankful for. Love, and what little I know if it, is powerful. So strong that it can forgive someone's past and fill that dark past and even the future with love. I don't believe love operates on a linear time table. It's a beauty of a thing. I feel, not even biblically speaking, but secular speaking, abstinence is important because it preserves that love. As my aunt put it, "Derek, every time you get physical with a girl, you're doing that with someone's wife". It's true. The last image I want is to look in my wife's eyes and become reminded or see something that would cause pain. That is your woman/man. You want them to be as pure as can be. But, even if they have had a past, that love, it has to be so strong, that it will wipe that clean.... that's what love should look like. This is why I'm not going to so much as even kiss another girl unless I'm in a relationship with her. I don't know a lot about real love, but it sounds amazing, and I'll do everything I can to have it.

Ended the night with watching Seinfeld with my cousin and uncle. We spent the night at his house in Toledo, preparing for the busy day to follow at Westfield Mall. Two letters... H & M.

- Thanksgiving Table -

Day 96

The first day of the break. What better way to spend this than relaxing around my house, doing nothing better than silly Batman. Nothing eventful really happened today, except for simply enjoying the relaxation part around my house.

Around 5:00 I went into work for just an hour. I told a girl who took my shift I'd fill in for her while she could go get dinner. While I was there I made sure the pool was par with standards, since I'm pool manager now. It's the biggest body of water that has the biggest body of neglect. I'm and old gay man's dream... I'm a pool boy.

After work I went to my church for a special Thanksgiving Eve service they were doing. The hour was spent with an open mic time in which members could simply stand up and say what they were thankful for, and share amazing stories that displayed that there is in fact, a God. I debated standing up multiple times, but decided against it, rather wanting to hear others. Afterward I talked with my pastor and a friend for a bit, and then went into the gymnasium to grab some apple pie.

With it being about 8:20, I had my car packed with clothes, pillow, and sleeping back, which meant road trip. I set out for Monroe where I would join my family for Thanksgiving on the day to follow. The drive was beautiful.... probably because Coldplay's new album was flooding my car all the way. it game me time to think.... I wonder if I'd want a girlfriend ever. Made me think about traveling when I'm done with school. Go to Europe, Netherlands, Japan. Made me think about the people I hurt. Made me think about the people that hurt me.

It was a beautiful drive.

- Night Drive -

Day 95

This morning's communication class had some thrill. We had to do skits. Needless to say I made sure mine was par with SNL material.... but it generated laughs.... Lorne Michaels would be proud.

Class came and went, and I was almost free for the break.... (Holland class to follow at night). I drove straight home, skipping out on my usual doughnut and juice stop. Upon arriving home, I browsed the web, rotted my life away with Batman again, and then went with my mom to Costco. Spent a solid hour in the store, all while looking at phones, movies, sampling sushi and tea, and having a short lunch there. We also ran into some old friends, so that was nice to see their faces, or at the very least, know that they aren't dead.

Went home and further invested time with the dark knight. Time flew so fast, I realized dinner time had approached, and my mother made a most delicious dish or orange chicken and rise. I devoured that meal, and then drove out to Holland for my 2nd to last creativity class. I do enjoy the class; others hate it, but I find the work load appropriate and engaging. The entire ride there and back, I was fearing a deer would leap out in front of me. I'm still slightly traumatized, and the sound does it. Hitting an animal doesn't scare me, but the sound it makes, and then the image of the animal coming through my glass, cutting me, and then still being alive, thus kicking and trashing all over my injured body really scares me to my core.

Ended the night at Mulligan's Pub with a friend I haven't seen since high school. Garret is his name, and I've known him since my senior year of high school. We had one class together, and didn't really talk. Up till now, Garret has been singing and strumming for his own band, and is gaining popularity in doing so. He also started a film production company, and, yes, you see where this is going. Chatted with him over some PBR about the film, production, and possibilities. I don't know what will happen, but I do know they'll be more beers to follow. He's a cool guy.

- Garret outside in East town -

Day 94

3.5 hours of sleep this morning, due to inbred panic that my alarm won't go off, thus my body wakes up every hour making sure it's still on. So, I got up early again and opened the gym. What's good. Nice to see the early morning, the sun not even up, and heaping amounts of coffee. I cleaned the pool quite thoroughly at work. Vacuumed, swept the deck, balanced the chemicals.... other than that, a typical quiet morning it was. I'm amazed at how many people actually come in to work out between 5-6AM.

Arriving home I spent more time playing Batman. Truth be told I was never a Bat-man fan. I mean, I've always liked the films, except Joel Schumacher, who I will never forgive for such a terrible crime. Lately, I've put Batman on the same pedestal I hold Spider-Man on. Who knows, maybe I'll bid farewell to Spider-Man love and solely devote my fanhood to Batman. Thanks to Sony raping Sam Raimi in the butt, what choice am I left with?

Sorry, my nerd is showing. Ahem. Went to school, finished our speeches, (finally), and then took my last Spanish test of the semester, no...year. Over half the class left because the lowest test grade is dropped, so some students wanted to take a zero and just drop the test. I dig Spanish, and I'm doing well, so another good grade that may lower another slightly lower one did me just fine.

Stopped at Verizon on the way home to see if there was anything that could be done about my broken phone screen. There wasn't. The man there was gay, and was hitting on me... I know what you're thinking.... and the answer is yes... I did try to woo him into helping me out... but my wooing failed.
Stopped at Costco, grabbed some dinner, and then on the way home noticed a deer walking into the road. I slowed down to 30mph, and waited for him to run along. As he did, I proceeded to travel, forgetting one very important face.... "Deers travel together". (The next two sentences all happen within a second of real-life-time) Without warning, the corner of my eye caught a huge creature standing by my windshield. I was probably driving 40mph at this point, and I remember the deer ducking his head, making full contact with my bumper, sending a loud thud through the steel frame of my car, and pieces of plastic, glass, and metal all over the street. I was embarrassed... cars around me just saw me stop for a deer, then speed up, only to drive into another deer that was standing to my right. It's as if the deer was like "Hmm... surely he won't hit me... he sees me... wait... he doesn't see me... he's looking at my friend. Uh oh... I should probably duck and maybe try to hide and... too late... here comes his car." Bam! I performed an animal hit-and-run and drove home in mild shock. Filled out a police report, but that did nothing. That was returned to me. I love police. (sarcasm).

Shelby dyed my hair dark brown again, so I'm back to dark hair, although right now it's too dark for my taste, and sometimes looks black. I'll go shower again right now, try to really wash as much out.

Maybe the deer wanted revenge for the crude Far Side comic I posted about them last week. (see previous blog posts from last week). Hmm... justifiable... but this means war.

- Another funny deer comic from Far Side -

Day 93

Sunday service in church, it was a communion service. Had one of these about 3 weeks ago, but a little repentance never hurt anybody. I ate the bread and drank out of the cup.

After church, my mother and I went to O'Toole's, a nicer Irish bar on the border of downtown Grand Rapids. Today was there $3.00 build your own bloody mary, but I declined the offer, and instead got the hangover burger and a coke. We enjoyed the lunch, then returned home, where I sat on the couch and played spider solitaire on the iPad for a good hour. That game is so addicting.

Later on in the evening, I met up with my dad at Celebration South and we saw the film "Tower Heist". The theater was near sold out, but we had decent seats. The film was way better than I anticipated, and him and I actually enjoyed it. It was worth $4.00. After the movie Chad came over and we watched Dexter, which is now down to its last 4 episodes. Excited to see where the writers take it. After Dexter, I broke my Mcdonalds vow and got 1, just 1 burger. That's it. No pop, sweet tea, fries. Just a burger. It's been 3 weeks since I've touched the grease hole, and, well, as mentioned in the first sentence, a little repentance never hurt anybody.

- Phantom Menace Lobby Standee  (yes, I'm stoked for this release) -

Day 92

What felt like a beautiful winter day in California really lit me up today. The weather is beautiful.

I spent the majority of the day inside, having a Batman day on the video game system. Eating what food I had around the house, I spent a good portion indoors, which is kind of depressing. I mean, if I stay inside too long or sit in front of a screen too long. I truly get depressed. This means a night is due of insane fun.

Enter Ryan and Phil. I've known these guys since 1998-1999. They're great guys and I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with them. I've coined us the wolfpack, because our personalities and lifestyles are so different, yet hanging out is a blast. We started at Woody's Lounge for bowling, but the lanes were full until midnight. We grabbed some drinks, and then drove out to Gun Lake. Ryan & I scored big. I started with 10 bucks and was up 105 at one point, and made it out with 63.35. Ryan actually hit the mini jackpot and won 170 bucks. It was a good reel. We almost drove to Soaring Eagle but we decided it would be 3:00AM by the time we arrived, and none of us wanted to spend the winnings on a hotel.

Went home and slept. Darn good night to counter a darn dull day.

- Me, Phil, Ryan -

Day 91

The cold was weaker this morning in my body, which means the immune system is beginning to heal again. This is a small victory for my body.

Worked a little, then after work I met up with Chad for some dinner. We waited in line at Brann's, but deemed the wait was too long. there was also a man in Brann's that looked identical to Michael Cera. Seriously, I'm pretty sure Michael Cera was in Grandville last night. Anyway, line is too long, so we go to Cracker Barrel. Here's a place I haven't been to since 2002 or 2003. Walking in, the sights and smells brought me back to that good smelling general store feel. The candy, the fronteir clothing, the christmas apparel, it was very cozy. We ate and I ordered a lot of food, and I mean a lot. Salad, Rueben, cole slaw, chili, and the best sweet tea I've ever had. Mcdonalds has nothing on Cracker Barrel sweet tea.

Afterwards I went back to Chad's where we surfed the web for a bit, and then met Melissa, April, and Kaitlin at the theater and saw "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles", a 1980's cult classic directed by the late great John Hughes. The film was in blu-ray high def, and looked and sounded glorious. The entire day was like a memory trip. Seeing the old cars and listening to the 80's music in the film, plus being at Cracker Barrel really brought up the past. And this is a past, that I enjoy.

- Chad and I outside Cracker Barrel (and what appears to be the ghost of Mr. Clean behind Chad -

Day 90

Dang. The three month mark. Wow. 1/4 of the way there.

I slept in this morning, not going to school. Needed the extra rest to ensure this cold would end in due time. Upon waking up I made myself eggs and finished eating my pomegranate fruit from the previous night. I called eBay customer support while I ate my breakfast, trying to find out if the blue-oxford-seller died or died. I use eBay so much, and this is the first real issue I've had with them. I found my prick in the needle in the haystack.

Went to work at 2:00, where I spent some time cleaning, updating papers, and calling previous clients. I made a huge bowl of orange tomato soup, and not even 5 minutes after starting to eat it, I opened the cash register drawer, forgetting about the location of the soup bowl. What followed was a similar picture of projectile orange vomit that spilled all over my leather chair, my pants, the floor, and made a huge mess in front of three clients. I just laughed, got a mop, and started cleaning.... again.

In the eve, myself, Noah and his date Cassy, and my friend Mitch from work all went to For the Kidz, which is a giant indoor gymnastics and trampoline place. We spent 2 and a half hours there, bouncing, diving into foam pits, and heck, I even finally mastered a flip and was able to jump over a 5 foot padded wall and into the foam, complete with flip. The entire place had a safe and soft bounce to it. One kid there tried to land on this ceiling platform but missed, and he seriously was injured. They had to get ice and fill out a incident report, etc. Afterward we went to Meijer to replenish our bruised and soar joints with more juice and protein shakes. I was so soar upon arriving home. My body ached. I was in immense pain.... so badly that I sat in my shower for about 30 minutes, trying to relieve my aching joints and tendons. Gravity's a booger.

-Security Camera footage from Just for Kidz -

Day 89

Not even getting up slightly early for a hot shower and vitamins could prevent me from having an even colder day at work. Angry customers, ill-forgotten paper-work..... I sigh out loud and help the clients where I can. My throat is full of mucus, but I'm still alive.

After class I went home and spent time on eBay, still trying to find a blue oxford since the loser I bought my from almost a week ago apparently must have died because I've yet to receive a response, and he isn't even linked with paypal anymore. The week of my birthday I'm going to Michigan City and I'm buying one at the outlet mall. That's that. So I spend 28 bucks, which isn't even that bad. The hunt for the blue oxford shirt continues. Rediculous.

School was great, more speeches about Republican candidates, and the occasional Obama speech. Politics I just don't get. There's days I hate Obama and am convinced he's the worse president the U.S. has had, and then there are other days where, like today, I look at his ads and am like "Yah, he's a pretty cool cat. I dig this democrat." Politics. Can't live with them, cant live without them.

Spanish came and went, made some new friends, and spent my 2nd to last night in the Spanish lab. Only 40 more minutes are needed in the lab, then I'm done with the lab portion. This semester has gone so fast, I won't even be in school in 4 weeks. Craziness.

Stopped at my Aunt Colleen's house where I retrieved my Burt's Bees, as well as received a bag of Costco truffles, which are like chocolate ecstasy in a golden bag. Stopped at Meijer and bought my favorite fruit... pomegranate. It was on sale, $1.50 each, which is way cheaper than the last one I bought ($2.50). I'll stop at Horrocks tomorrow and pick up more exotic fruits there.

- Meijer's pomegranates. Drooling -

Day 88

This morning was worse in the awakening realm. My voice was 3 octaves lower, but my nose was miraculously empty. I'll take it.

Stopped at Family Fare gas station before school, getting gas and a vitamin water to help rain down health on my ghastly throat. On a side note, I really don't like family fare...... the prices in their stores are only good if you buy two of the items, not one. When Meijer has three on sale, Family Fare has two. Grocery wars aside, I went to school and took more notes for my communication class.

Left school and went home all but to change and spend a brief amount of time on MW3. I left and went back to Big Ray's to have them fill my coolant tank and fix the lights. Not even ten minutes, and no charges later, I left, and all the lights in my car went off. It's a miracle. The only thing wrong with my car at this point is that rattling piece of metal below it, which requires a simple yank. With 207,000 miles, I must say this little Saturn has served me well. It's a shame it lacks electric locks and windows.

Cleaned like a hotel maid at work; I mean the duties, not wearing a dress or uniform. Excited to see the new renovations that we're putting in the club. It's exciting. After work I met up with my good friend Steve at Panera to catch up and talk about his new fiance. The last time I got to see Steve was day 3 or 4, and it's documented on this dandy blogger. I told him about where I was in my life, the possibilities of me moving to a different college and even out of the state, and he shared his hopes and worries too. He asked me to serve as his best man in his wedding, which came as a gracious, boomerang of an honor. After defending the slew of choices, he smiled and just asked if I would. I graciously accepted and bought us drinks.

Went home, updated a few things on the web, skyped with Melissa, which I want to say is a good feeling. It's rare when exes can still talk, and in this case especially, it's the first successful time in history exes can be friends. It's like Seinfeld and Elaine. I am still going the single route for awhile, focusing on making myself a better person and who God wants me to be.

Finally, went to Mike's house, and watched the film "Human Centipede 2", which is a black and white frenzy of people being stapled to other peoples butts and pooping. Yes, it's film-making at it's finest, especially when a woman gives birth to a baby in a car and the baby, still attached by the umbilical cord, falls down on the floor and the woman drives away and crushes the baby's head under the pedal. Yes, Spielberg would be proud.

- Another funny Far Side comic -

Day 87

............

So many people wonder why God allows terrible things to happen. Why he lets tsunamis and earthquakes demolish cities and families. We wonder why.... and yet, he is God... sometimes we never know why..... but he doesn't like doing it. I felt a similar feeling today. Carrying around a storm cloud...

Waking up with stuffed noses are never fun.... it was one of those really hard blows out the nose. One of the blows where you do it really hard and you just hear the high pitched air escaping through a newly created crevasse inside the mucus. I got ready and went to work, and spent about 70% of my shift, just cleaning, trying to just clean. I didn't feel like human interaction, just wanted to clean.

In honor of the main idea behind this blog, yet, for personal reasons, I ended the boyfriend/girlfriend status with my girlfriend today. That was my storm cloud I was carrying around.... I can't say anything else. It was a very hard day. I cant talk about it right now.

Gave my speech today, which went good. I guess I was up at the podium for ten minutes, but it felt like 4. It comes natural to me, I tend to thrive on communication. Spanish was fast as well.... in fact, my whole night flew unnaturally fast. Spent some time in the Spanish lab, which I'm done with next week, right before Thanksgiving. Thank goodness.

Went home, picked up some hot and sour soup, browsed eBay for some Sperry's, and just thought. I don't know a lot about life, right now so much doesn't make sense. I was thinking about things I get... what makes sense to me.... I realized that film, vitamins, & Spanish language are the only things I'm getting right now...kind of depressing, but its true... I just get it. I can connect, relate, and see the benefit and future in those things. Time will hopefully bring more relations, connections, and meanings to a life that is currently being moved by God in the chessboard of life. I skyped with Ty last night for a solid hour and a half, and we both realized how blessed we are that we are currently being moved and watched by God at this very minute. Right now, God is shaping us into the men he wants us to be, and it's a bittersweet feeling.

Time to watch last night's Dexter I missed. One other character that makes sense to me.

- This best represents my speech style for speeches -

Day 86

Terrible night. Waking up at 4 and 5 AM to go try to swallow water in the bathroom. My tonsils inflamed, my throat tight with an infection.... it was not pretty. It hurt to sleep at one point.

The morning came, and I had my mom make me hot tea while I sat in my shower and sweat in burning water for a good 15 minutes. Some Raisin Bran and tea later, I was feeling much better, but still had the virus lurking around my body. I got dressed and headed out towards Jenison to my aunt and uncle's house. We were going to Birch Run today, a giant outlet mall somewhere northwest of Detroit and or Flint.

We made good time getting there, and when we arrived, I was amazed at how busy it was. Stores in multiple lots, across the street, it was crazy. I hit a lot of the stores in the first hour I was there, and realized I should have taken my time. Until they closed (which was 7:00PM), I was following my aunt and Kelsey around in too many stores. I have to give her credit..... my Aunt Colleen can shop forever. My joints and body began to give out around 6:00PM, and this was mainly due to a lack of food too. I bought a great sweater at J. Crew, as well as khaki skinny jeans and some amazing vitamin C blend of
acerola cherries. I spent the last 10 minutes that I was there in the vitamin store, all while I was sampling vitamins and looking at just how powerful some of these little chewable and swallowable pills where. I made good conversation with the lady, and even donated some money to their foundation for kids to get vitamins. I was able to provide 4 children with daily vitamins for an entire year. I may never meet them, but I hope they stay healthy.

I feel distant....... the last 7 minutes in the film "Trainspotting" describe how I feel down to a tee. Ewan McGregor is a doppelganger to my life and the situation I'm in....

Getting online now to wind down my tired night by talking to my good friend Ty via Skype. Wonder what we'll talk about....

- The loot after the shopping trip -

Day 85

After following all of this cold weather, the Saturday's, particularly this one has been warm.
I had to be at work at 2:00 today, and didn't make it in time to ship the last of the movies I sold on eBay, but I did have time to meet with my Aunt Colleen for lunch at Q'doba.

We were in the Mexican eatery for a good hour and a half, just talking about life, me, the future, and the bundle of choices and desires I have in my head and heart. It was a good day. The lunch finished, I went to work, put in my six hours, and then left work at night, heading home for a few games of COD

Around 10:00, my friend Caleb came over. We started to watch Dexter, but realized that the right episode wasn't taped.... conceding, we left and went to Monelli's, where we just hung out and shared a pizza. It feels good to break out of my root of circles I've felt so trapped in lately. New faces, people, places, and opportunities are carefully being sought out, courtesy of myself.

Went home and crashed, before starting to feel a familiar itch in my throat.... uh oh.

- Aunt Collen & I -

Day 84

I forgot to mention, yesterday was the first snowfall. And a snowfall it was. Heavy amounts, particularly in Byron Center, covering my entire yard, coating any grass that may lie beneath under the white blanket. It's almost winter. The death. The end. It's the time where time itself comes to the end of the ticker, waiting for a new year to be rung in, resetting the clock, again, and again. Also, today was 11.11.11. Facebook statuses went mad, though my favorite goes to my cousin...
Cameron - "Hey! Guess what! 11.12.2011. is the only time this century that will happen."

I woke up at Mike's, and luckily Kentwood had much of its snow already melted. I met Melissa for breakfast at Panera, and we stayed there for about an hour. I was in an odd mood. I wanted to help everyone around me. I could feel pain and worrying and sadness in others around me. I wanted to be that stranger that walks up to them and says, "its okay..... it will be fine" and hug them... performing a little act, that would add huge emotion, and last a lifetime in their memory.

Went home to get my precious time in with the new MW3 game. Oh how I thoroughly love this. Shot some faces in and then went to work for 4 hours where I spent a good portion of the night cleaning the pool area, specifically mopping green mold off the deck. Gotta love negligent work habits.

Went home and ate a Subway footlong, compliments of my mother. Ate the sub, watched even play Batman, and then went over to Noah's for a very cold and warm bonfire. The bulk of the night I did some thinking, just sat, watched the snow melt under the intense flames. I met this cool guy named Jazz, who was wearing a digital belt that he could program, making it say anything. Kind of cool, in the party sense, and that's what this was. The stars.
Oh gosh, the stars. They are a sight. A connect-the-dots game to a different future.

- Jazz and his cool belt -

Day 83

Class was not canceled today, and I went full force and attended school.

After class I went home, did my thing, and went to work. Did a lot at work, and enjoyed the jasmine tea my girlfriend brought me. After work, winter began. Snow, snow, and more snow, thickly fell onto the earth, for all to slip and slosh.

After work I went and bought Modern Warfare 3, which is easily the biggest game of the year. 9. something million copies sold on the first day. Dang. Wish I would have invested in Infinity Ward and Activision. Stocks soared. I then went to Mike's house and played COD, and went with him to get his copy of "SkyRim", and watched him play it for awhile.

- Line outside Gamestop in Kentwood for Skyrim. -

Day 82

Let me sum up this day very quickly.

1.) Worked. Yay.

2.) School. Did speeches, which I lucked out and now won't go until next Monday.
3.) Went to Spanish Lab, learned how to use photobooth. Guy told me he liked my jacket. Thanks guy
4.) Went home and played COD

Yay yay and yah.

Day 81

After waking up, I said to myself, I’ll check the computer, maybe class is cancelled.

That turned into checking my eBay sales, Facebook statuses, and the weather, completely forgetting about my original motive. About an hour later, I arrived to my school, only to discover my class was cancelled. Money in the meters gone. I sighed loudly and decided to get some of my parking money’s worth, and saw a counselor.

After class I went home where I remained for a good portion of the day. I caught up on Batman Arkham City and some C.O.D, before I left and put in a workout with my friend Dana. That followed a work meeting, which followed me returning home to do more of the previous activities. Today was definitely a video game day.

I would like to take a minute, however, and say something to you, the reader. Maybe you know me, but never hang out with me. Maybe you’ve never even met me (if that’s the case, I hope my blog is filling in the finer details of my life). Maybe you just don’t see me. Whoever you are, reading this, I apologize. I haven’t been myself lately. I’ve disconnected from everything and everyone. I enjoy spending time alone. I have grown distant from the once familiar. I have created distance and boundaries from my friends, my girlfriend, and people in general. My family remains the same, which is how it should be, but, for unknown reasons, I just haven’t been myself. I don’t know why. Could it be excessive drama? Lack of talents being utilized in Grand Rapids? An unknown and challenging career path? Looking to always please people? I don’t know.

To my reader, I am sorry.

Day 80

Due to a last minute shift switch, my morning started at 4:02AM, awakening from my 3.5 hour sleep cycle, since I was constantly waking up out of fear that my alarm would fail me.

For a November morning, it was noticeably warm. I didn't even need a coat, and its 4:30AM at this point. I made it to work and did my duties, all while the sun slowly began to rise, coating the western landscape of Michigan with it's faint yet warm glow, which will soon be overpowered by winter's bone.

After work, my day was mine to do with what I could. I went to Big Ray's where I got an oil change, engine flush, radiator flush, and new coolant (the previous coolant was so bad it looked like there were leeches in it). It cost me 70 bucks, but the guy game me a great deal on all of that. My car should successfully survive another 2 years, enough to get me through school. I left Ray's and briefly stopped at my girlfriend's house, just to say hi to keep it simple. Then I departed and met my dad downtown at the Monarch's Club for lunch. I ordered the Rueben stacker, which is an enormous sandwich that gives you their restaurant bragging rights if you can finish it. Rockwell's reubens now has a run for their money. This one was good. Really good.

I went home, got ready for school, and then went to said school. Debate class went good, with me trying to stay awake, failing at hiding my obvious head bobbing and eyes rolling into my skull. I RARELY get tired in school, but this morning, with such a short supply of energy, I was in trouble. For Spanish, I grabbed my usual coffee at Einstein Bros Bagels, although I passed on the vanilla hazelnut and went for the dark roast. I got an 89 on my Spanish exam, and my body remained awake.

Went home, debating to stand in line with hundreds of screaming men to get the new Call of Duty game, but realizing I had a ten dollar gift card to Meijer, I decided to hold off on the game parade for the evening.

- My dad gave me this. Yay! -

Day 79

I hate missing church, but a laptop and wi-fi provide the sermon at my fingertips while I have to work. Sadly, when two evil men decide to come in and lie to me, steal items from the gym, and break into other member's lockers, its so easy to suddenly forget about the message, and just want to rewind time to meet their face with the sharp side of a hammer.

After work I went to Melissa's, her mom made a great dinner, and even added these beans that were in a very thick and fuzzy pod, but that did not stop me from eating them. After dinner, and a long day, I realized, that I dont know who I am.

I dont know who I am.
I dont know what I want.
I dont know what I need to do.
I dont know who my friends are
I dont know why God allows what he allows
I dont know why I dont know.
I dont know where to go
I dont know what to say
I dont know

There can only be one cure for this, well, obviously I intend to spend time with God tonight in His Word, but the 2nd best anecdote for a lost, voided self is watching someone who is the same as me.
Mom and I are going to watch Dexter. In a world where I need to just reach out and grab something, there's always America's favorite serial killer.

- Who am I? -

Day 78

A day of rest is a day of enjoyment. You may not be driving about, spending lucratively, or eating fine dining, but a day of rest is a day of enjoyment.

I slept until 10:00AM. I had a late night before, but it's no excuse to waste a beautifully warm November day. I didn't leave the house at all during the day. I rested up, surfed eBay, played COD and Batman. Melissa came over in the afternoon and we just rested. We re-invented the term couch potato, and turned it into bed potato (no, nothing inappropriate, just a good queen size bed to serve as a more lazy couch).

Being the 5th of November, we went out for pizza, and watched V for Vendetta, a liberal fan fest of a film that has meaning and metaphors wrapped around every inch of screenplay. After the pizza, me and her went to Chad's where Sam, Tanya, and Mike were waiting. We picked up juice and played Logo, then me and Chad slipped out and went to Mcdonalds, and then Cottonwood Express. As usual, my shortcut back turned into a dark maze in suburbia neighborhoods. Luckily, we made it back and wrapped up the eve.

On a different note, immensely happy for my good friend and mentor Steve Moerdyk, who proposed to his girlfriend Marie, and allowed video to be uploaded to facebook for me to watch it. I appreciate it Steve, I'm happy for the new chapter that awaits you in your life. The years of us hanging out, filming videos, eating lunches, phrasing "get yo ______ off that bus", Star Wars, downtown prom runs, working out, Mario kart, Halo nights,  Outlet mall trips, teepeeing houses, school plays, Seriously bloopers, landscaping houses, flashing you in your swimming pool, playing "I have Never" with my ex, hotel sprees, comparing, and so much more will never go away. Ironically, when I first saw the film "V for Vendetta", I saw it with Steve. Coincidence? I think not. Steve has hours on end to fill new memories, ideas, and moments with Marie. In a country where divorce, deceit, lust, and dishonor are as common as Starbucks, I hope he never gives up. Thank you for your inspiration. You may not have known it, but you've changed a lot about me.

- Prom, 2010. Going with two women we would later realize were wrong for us. Steve & I thinking the same thought... "what have we gotten ourselves into". -

Day 77

What a day!

Spending the first early hours of my day at home getting my last specs of COD in before the new one comes out, I did just that as well as eBay. Then I made a huge salad, devoured the huge salad, and went to work for four hours.

Work work, workety work work. Working work work workly worked. Working work work work work (wow this doesn't sound like a word anymore).

After work I went to Party City to pick up the make up I needed for my costume. Before hand I grabbed dinner with Chad at Quizno's, which I will say this, Quizno's is superior to Subway, both in food quality, and the friendliness of the staff. Subway has some of the most unfriendly and cold employees. I see where the cold cut combo got it's name now. So we eat these amazing subs at Quizno's, got our free college drinks with their mini tea bar now. yes yes.

The night made its climatic end with the annual Halloween party at Noah's. There were probably a solid 50 people that made it last night, and the garage we set up was the perfect bio-dome for the crazy, costumed characters we had. I went in the house a little after midnight and fell asleep on the couch for a bit, then woke up and remained in the basement... I missed some of my friends last night, and a lot of the dancing. Aye, maybe I drank a tad too much.

- Costume -

Day 76

Still feeling an odd feeling in the throat, and certain it's not the cold, I slept in, skipping my class for a longer sleep period.

I woke up and showered, browsed the world of ebay, and killed time in my bedroom before taking the girl out to lunch at Ming Ten, an amazing Chinese buffet that is truly a relic to the Chinese food that hides in Grand Rapids. Although we were only there for a little over an hour, I keep staring at her a lot. I must like her a lot. The sushi wasn't helping take away my enjoyment either.

Went to a few stores before going into work, where I cleaned machines, vacuumed the pool, and signed up a family friend for a membership. A four hour shift that flew by very fast. Then, after the shift, I drove to my grandparents, getting my grandpa's truck, and then picking up Noah, and grabbing firewood from my house and scouting around Grandville for more skids and wooden palettes. Lowes and Home Depot had several in the back, but scared of the illusion of theft, we didn't take any. We'll see what tomorrow brings for the party.

11:30, Mike came over to Noah's, and we danced in the garage for a bit, before heading to Rivertown to see a Harold and Kumar Christmas in 3D. It was just what I expected. A ridiculous movie that still made me laugh a lot.

Finally, on a serious note, I came home, and I sit here, at 2:14AM, writing this.... and I hop on facebook, only to see another friend who is engaged. She is two years younger than me, and I have known this girl for about 7-8 years. It's funny, because in life, so many things desensitize us. You witness a violent car accident, and a year later, you're use to the gory movies. You see a Playboy magazine behind your friends garage when you're fifteen, and then naked chicks become the norm. Prices rise by a longshot, and we adjust, and go on. Engagements and marriages, are the exception. I guess I speak for myself, but they always come as a pleasant surprise to me. It's a feeling of days being ripped off a calender. Friends fulfilling the lifelong mission to love and be loved. Everytime I get on facebook and see a friend, especially one I've known for awhile tie the knot, I never can fully adjust to the act, nor comprehend the love and relationship that this person has. My mind plays the game of "Should I be where they are? Am I doing something wrong?" Vs. "Not yet... become the right man".
Sometimes I think it's both.

- Harold and Kumar.... this generations Cheech and Chong. Yesterday's Hangover films -

Day 75

Ahh, freedom.net...... You sucky suckers of sucking. Your internet service may be the worse service offered in the United States next to ObamaCare.

While I hope and pray the internet works properly tomorrow so I can upload the appropriate pictures, I'll still update this.

Worked from 10-2. Before I left for work, Ruby pooped five times upstairs. Sigh...

So I work from 10-2. A very busy work day, didn't get a moment to escape at all; totally and completely plugged into the desk and paperwork the whole time. This is a good thing, busy day means good business. After the shift I shot home to whip up a three page paper due today about one of the Republican candidates for the 2012 election. I try to stay out of politics, but the class of COM203 drives it into who you are. I chose Rick Perry, the governor of Texas. His platform and issues seem the most fitting.

My Spanish test was the best I've had, I'm confident I got an A- on it. I knew everything, and am excelling again, where as the beginning of this month I was fumbling. It's amazing what an extra hour in the lab will do for you, plus actually studying just a mere 15 minutes before the test.

Stopped at a tiny Chinese Buffet house in Jenison I've never been to before. The place was empty, though I dont know why. A 6.99 dinner buffet over the 4.99 lunch buffet is the best Chinese buffet deal I've seen in Michigan. I was only there for soup, so I grabbed the hot and sour bowl and went home to work on this, my blog, but alas! freedom.net fails again. Much like Donald Trump failed to follow through with his presidential plan. Oye! Politicos!

- The empty Chinese buffet -

Day 74

After Com 101 class, I needed to experience the starting of the holiday seasons. After class, I drove to Best Buy, and Michaels, where the stores, particularly Michaels was still in the process of adorning many christmas ornaments, yet already looked and smelled like Christmas. Christmas music, the cinnamon, holiday smell you smell at family get togethers when you're wearing a sweater (its an odd combo, but you smell it). It was there. I bought Trainspotting on blu-ray at Best buy. 6.99. Sold.

Today I started my detox, so water, juices, and about a two pound salad engulfed my stomach today. I cleaned out my system so good, that my stomach actually began to church, and I was, well.... constantly adjusting to such changes in my body. (I'll leave it at that). ((100+)). Don't forget the huge jug of vitamin water.

At night I went to Holland where we spent more time in creativity, learning how to market and obtain ideas. I'm almost certain I'll be writing a book for my final, though time will tell with that one.

Ended the night at Noah's, eating candy bars and setting up his garage for the party. We have PVC pipes in the upstairs of the barn, connected to the fog machine, so the fog rains down in multiple holes. It's sweet.

- Noah's Barn, home of the H20 party -