Day 81

After waking up, I said to myself, I’ll check the computer, maybe class is cancelled.

That turned into checking my eBay sales, Facebook statuses, and the weather, completely forgetting about my original motive. About an hour later, I arrived to my school, only to discover my class was cancelled. Money in the meters gone. I sighed loudly and decided to get some of my parking money’s worth, and saw a counselor.

After class I went home where I remained for a good portion of the day. I caught up on Batman Arkham City and some C.O.D, before I left and put in a workout with my friend Dana. That followed a work meeting, which followed me returning home to do more of the previous activities. Today was definitely a video game day.

I would like to take a minute, however, and say something to you, the reader. Maybe you know me, but never hang out with me. Maybe you’ve never even met me (if that’s the case, I hope my blog is filling in the finer details of my life). Maybe you just don’t see me. Whoever you are, reading this, I apologize. I haven’t been myself lately. I’ve disconnected from everything and everyone. I enjoy spending time alone. I have grown distant from the once familiar. I have created distance and boundaries from my friends, my girlfriend, and people in general. My family remains the same, which is how it should be, but, for unknown reasons, I just haven’t been myself. I don’t know why. Could it be excessive drama? Lack of talents being utilized in Grand Rapids? An unknown and challenging career path? Looking to always please people? I don’t know.

To my reader, I am sorry.

Day 80

Due to a last minute shift switch, my morning started at 4:02AM, awakening from my 3.5 hour sleep cycle, since I was constantly waking up out of fear that my alarm would fail me.

For a November morning, it was noticeably warm. I didn't even need a coat, and its 4:30AM at this point. I made it to work and did my duties, all while the sun slowly began to rise, coating the western landscape of Michigan with it's faint yet warm glow, which will soon be overpowered by winter's bone.

After work, my day was mine to do with what I could. I went to Big Ray's where I got an oil change, engine flush, radiator flush, and new coolant (the previous coolant was so bad it looked like there were leeches in it). It cost me 70 bucks, but the guy game me a great deal on all of that. My car should successfully survive another 2 years, enough to get me through school. I left Ray's and briefly stopped at my girlfriend's house, just to say hi to keep it simple. Then I departed and met my dad downtown at the Monarch's Club for lunch. I ordered the Rueben stacker, which is an enormous sandwich that gives you their restaurant bragging rights if you can finish it. Rockwell's reubens now has a run for their money. This one was good. Really good.

I went home, got ready for school, and then went to said school. Debate class went good, with me trying to stay awake, failing at hiding my obvious head bobbing and eyes rolling into my skull. I RARELY get tired in school, but this morning, with such a short supply of energy, I was in trouble. For Spanish, I grabbed my usual coffee at Einstein Bros Bagels, although I passed on the vanilla hazelnut and went for the dark roast. I got an 89 on my Spanish exam, and my body remained awake.

Went home, debating to stand in line with hundreds of screaming men to get the new Call of Duty game, but realizing I had a ten dollar gift card to Meijer, I decided to hold off on the game parade for the evening.

- My dad gave me this. Yay! -

Day 79

I hate missing church, but a laptop and wi-fi provide the sermon at my fingertips while I have to work. Sadly, when two evil men decide to come in and lie to me, steal items from the gym, and break into other member's lockers, its so easy to suddenly forget about the message, and just want to rewind time to meet their face with the sharp side of a hammer.

After work I went to Melissa's, her mom made a great dinner, and even added these beans that were in a very thick and fuzzy pod, but that did not stop me from eating them. After dinner, and a long day, I realized, that I dont know who I am.

I dont know who I am.
I dont know what I want.
I dont know what I need to do.
I dont know who my friends are
I dont know why God allows what he allows
I dont know why I dont know.
I dont know where to go
I dont know what to say
I dont know

There can only be one cure for this, well, obviously I intend to spend time with God tonight in His Word, but the 2nd best anecdote for a lost, voided self is watching someone who is the same as me.
Mom and I are going to watch Dexter. In a world where I need to just reach out and grab something, there's always America's favorite serial killer.

- Who am I? -

Day 78

A day of rest is a day of enjoyment. You may not be driving about, spending lucratively, or eating fine dining, but a day of rest is a day of enjoyment.

I slept until 10:00AM. I had a late night before, but it's no excuse to waste a beautifully warm November day. I didn't leave the house at all during the day. I rested up, surfed eBay, played COD and Batman. Melissa came over in the afternoon and we just rested. We re-invented the term couch potato, and turned it into bed potato (no, nothing inappropriate, just a good queen size bed to serve as a more lazy couch).

Being the 5th of November, we went out for pizza, and watched V for Vendetta, a liberal fan fest of a film that has meaning and metaphors wrapped around every inch of screenplay. After the pizza, me and her went to Chad's where Sam, Tanya, and Mike were waiting. We picked up juice and played Logo, then me and Chad slipped out and went to Mcdonalds, and then Cottonwood Express. As usual, my shortcut back turned into a dark maze in suburbia neighborhoods. Luckily, we made it back and wrapped up the eve.

On a different note, immensely happy for my good friend and mentor Steve Moerdyk, who proposed to his girlfriend Marie, and allowed video to be uploaded to facebook for me to watch it. I appreciate it Steve, I'm happy for the new chapter that awaits you in your life. The years of us hanging out, filming videos, eating lunches, phrasing "get yo ______ off that bus", Star Wars, downtown prom runs, working out, Mario kart, Halo nights,  Outlet mall trips, teepeeing houses, school plays, Seriously bloopers, landscaping houses, flashing you in your swimming pool, playing "I have Never" with my ex, hotel sprees, comparing, and so much more will never go away. Ironically, when I first saw the film "V for Vendetta", I saw it with Steve. Coincidence? I think not. Steve has hours on end to fill new memories, ideas, and moments with Marie. In a country where divorce, deceit, lust, and dishonor are as common as Starbucks, I hope he never gives up. Thank you for your inspiration. You may not have known it, but you've changed a lot about me.

- Prom, 2010. Going with two women we would later realize were wrong for us. Steve & I thinking the same thought... "what have we gotten ourselves into". -

Day 77

What a day!

Spending the first early hours of my day at home getting my last specs of COD in before the new one comes out, I did just that as well as eBay. Then I made a huge salad, devoured the huge salad, and went to work for four hours.

Work work, workety work work. Working work work workly worked. Working work work work work (wow this doesn't sound like a word anymore).

After work I went to Party City to pick up the make up I needed for my costume. Before hand I grabbed dinner with Chad at Quizno's, which I will say this, Quizno's is superior to Subway, both in food quality, and the friendliness of the staff. Subway has some of the most unfriendly and cold employees. I see where the cold cut combo got it's name now. So we eat these amazing subs at Quizno's, got our free college drinks with their mini tea bar now. yes yes.

The night made its climatic end with the annual Halloween party at Noah's. There were probably a solid 50 people that made it last night, and the garage we set up was the perfect bio-dome for the crazy, costumed characters we had. I went in the house a little after midnight and fell asleep on the couch for a bit, then woke up and remained in the basement... I missed some of my friends last night, and a lot of the dancing. Aye, maybe I drank a tad too much.

- Costume -

Day 76

Still feeling an odd feeling in the throat, and certain it's not the cold, I slept in, skipping my class for a longer sleep period.

I woke up and showered, browsed the world of ebay, and killed time in my bedroom before taking the girl out to lunch at Ming Ten, an amazing Chinese buffet that is truly a relic to the Chinese food that hides in Grand Rapids. Although we were only there for a little over an hour, I keep staring at her a lot. I must like her a lot. The sushi wasn't helping take away my enjoyment either.

Went to a few stores before going into work, where I cleaned machines, vacuumed the pool, and signed up a family friend for a membership. A four hour shift that flew by very fast. Then, after the shift, I drove to my grandparents, getting my grandpa's truck, and then picking up Noah, and grabbing firewood from my house and scouting around Grandville for more skids and wooden palettes. Lowes and Home Depot had several in the back, but scared of the illusion of theft, we didn't take any. We'll see what tomorrow brings for the party.

11:30, Mike came over to Noah's, and we danced in the garage for a bit, before heading to Rivertown to see a Harold and Kumar Christmas in 3D. It was just what I expected. A ridiculous movie that still made me laugh a lot.

Finally, on a serious note, I came home, and I sit here, at 2:14AM, writing this.... and I hop on facebook, only to see another friend who is engaged. She is two years younger than me, and I have known this girl for about 7-8 years. It's funny, because in life, so many things desensitize us. You witness a violent car accident, and a year later, you're use to the gory movies. You see a Playboy magazine behind your friends garage when you're fifteen, and then naked chicks become the norm. Prices rise by a longshot, and we adjust, and go on. Engagements and marriages, are the exception. I guess I speak for myself, but they always come as a pleasant surprise to me. It's a feeling of days being ripped off a calender. Friends fulfilling the lifelong mission to love and be loved. Everytime I get on facebook and see a friend, especially one I've known for awhile tie the knot, I never can fully adjust to the act, nor comprehend the love and relationship that this person has. My mind plays the game of "Should I be where they are? Am I doing something wrong?" Vs. "Not yet... become the right man".
Sometimes I think it's both.

- Harold and Kumar.... this generations Cheech and Chong. Yesterday's Hangover films -

Day 75

Ahh, freedom.net...... You sucky suckers of sucking. Your internet service may be the worse service offered in the United States next to ObamaCare.

While I hope and pray the internet works properly tomorrow so I can upload the appropriate pictures, I'll still update this.

Worked from 10-2. Before I left for work, Ruby pooped five times upstairs. Sigh...

So I work from 10-2. A very busy work day, didn't get a moment to escape at all; totally and completely plugged into the desk and paperwork the whole time. This is a good thing, busy day means good business. After the shift I shot home to whip up a three page paper due today about one of the Republican candidates for the 2012 election. I try to stay out of politics, but the class of COM203 drives it into who you are. I chose Rick Perry, the governor of Texas. His platform and issues seem the most fitting.

My Spanish test was the best I've had, I'm confident I got an A- on it. I knew everything, and am excelling again, where as the beginning of this month I was fumbling. It's amazing what an extra hour in the lab will do for you, plus actually studying just a mere 15 minutes before the test.

Stopped at a tiny Chinese Buffet house in Jenison I've never been to before. The place was empty, though I dont know why. A 6.99 dinner buffet over the 4.99 lunch buffet is the best Chinese buffet deal I've seen in Michigan. I was only there for soup, so I grabbed the hot and sour bowl and went home to work on this, my blog, but alas! freedom.net fails again. Much like Donald Trump failed to follow through with his presidential plan. Oye! Politicos!

- The empty Chinese buffet -